My relationships with my gods feel solid, even as the dynamics shift. On New Years Eve, I had the sudden urge to tear down and remake my altar for Lilith and Samael. It has a completely different flavor, and yet the energy remains distinctly theirs. As Lilith steps to the forefront, my dealings with the Norse figures in my life have slowed to a simmer. While muted, and even somewhat distant, the ties are there. I have no idea how long this period will last. I have a track record of declaring that I’ve finally deciphered The Master Plan, only to see the players chuckle and shift in the blink of an eye. I suspect I’m not meant to predict the future, only grope my way through the present.

The biggest reason for my absence here is that new ventures in the flesh are overruling communications and communities online. One new venture in particular…

Last year I became a guest speaker for the New York City based group Lilith’s Tribe. After a series of appearances and growing involvement, I have taken on the responsibility of leading and re-imagining the group. It recently was made clear to me that Lilith wants more rituals being done in her name, and this group will be the foundation of that. Beginning in late February, I will inaugurate the new Lilith’s Tribe as a diverse collective of devotees, brought together from various traditions and cultures. The group will facilitate monthly rituals (led, at least initially, by yours truly). Each ritual, working through a cycle, will focus on an aspect of Lilith, her story, or her lessons. I have that old familiar feeling of dread and desire when I think about this, which tells me I’m on the right track.

So, I’m rebuilding a tribe for Her. As you can imagine, this is demanding work. The last few months saw me meditating, scribbling, and working out the logistics of how this will happen. Some question marks remain, but a skeletal plan has emerged, including a new website with support/networking with other potential or existing local “tribes” not in the NYC area. Even if you’re not in NYC, I want to find ways to connect and build something around her. More information will be posted here as it becomes available.

In the future, I’m not sure how often I will write proper essays for this blog. I apologize to those of you who have been waiting patiently for my promised series on Samael. Every time I try to write it, Lilith takes my attention. For the moment, it seems it’s not meant to be. Perhaps he needs to be found and known by each in his or her own way. Perhaps I’m not the one to write publicly about him. In any case, he is worth seeking out. Dangerous, as all things non-human are, but worth it.

I will continue to correspond with people via email and offer long distance divination. Information about either of those can be found under the tabs at the header of this blog.

At the beginning of 2011, I dedicated myself to embracing my weaknesses. I pursued things I thought I couldn’t do, tried on roles I’d assumed wouldn’t fit me. Despite my lack of coordination, I began studying martial arts and now have a Green belt in Hapkido – next month I’ll be testing for High Green. Despite my lack of faith that I could manage both human and divine partners, I’ve made it through 7 months of this. Along the way, I discovered that this seemingly impossible arrangement has actually created more balance in my life. In the future, the risks only get bigger: I’ll be trying things that could very well fail, and fail big. But fear of failure is paralysis.

2012 brings a new challenge: the archetype of the Queen. She is meant to be my inspiration this year, my mystery to unravel. This should be interesting.

In February I posted an essay here about Samael. It gave a very basic overview of how he appears in a range of cultural, religious, and magical writings, as well as some of my own UPG. To my surprise, it became one of my most-read posts, and since then I’ve been contacted by a number of people who work with him. To me, this suggests a hunger for more information about him…and that, like Lilith, he’s been active lately.

I also have my own reasons for posting on him again. For the past six months, I’ve had a number of encounters with him, sometimes in solo practice, sometimes in partnered rituals. I’ve seen his interactions with Lilith – as his sister, his lover, and his co-conspirator. These experiences have been eye-opening and often overwhelming in their intensity. They have stretched my capacity as a priestess and a devotee.

There is something extraordinarily difficult to grasp about Samael, which is one of the reasons I haven’t written about him more. To be honest, I’ve had a hard time writing about him at all. When the Dexter poster at the top of this post started following me around the city, however, I realized he’s not one who can be avoided.

One of the best descriptions of Samael I’ve read came to me from a fellow devotee, who has been generous enough to let me share his words here:

“After a couple decades of working closely with the one called (among other things) Samael I have come to a firm conclusion about His identity and nature: I have no idea what the hell He is. This seems to be a fundamental aspect of His being and acknowledging it is a major step forward in understanding Him. His legends crisscross each other in strange mirrorings and reversals, not just random noise but nested echoes and inversions. These labyrinthine intersections of conflicting tales do not cloud the true meaning of His story, they are the true meaning. He (and his sister, and it seems almost impossible to consider one without the other) requires and embraces opposites to create a union that is beyond either of them. Many terms are used to describe him (Angel, Demon, God, Titan, etc) but none of them are satisfactory, none of them are enough. That is a clearer indication of his nature than any title could provide. He strains at the limits.”

Yes. All this. And still, I will try to weave a thread through some of those labyrinths. (And I know this person will wince at me picking out the term “Angel” for the title of this blog. I can’t resist a good marketing slogan.)

In the series of posts to come, I will examine some of the recent ways in which I’ve encountered him, including as the Lover the Lilith, the Angelic General, and the Dweller in the Void. Although these essays will include some research and references, ultimately this is my personal account, not a prescriptive how-to or a rigid guide.

As the presence of the Dexter poster suggests, there will be a lot of embedded media. One of the ways I can grasp after the elusive threads of what is he is by catching a glimpse of him here or there in pop culture.

Along those lines, here’s a cover of Danzig’s “Am I Demon” by Bonnie “Prince” Billy. For at least two of us who’ve crossed his path, it seems to capture something of him.

Coming eight months after the incident itself (although a statement had been issued earlier), Rabbit’s post is rather long, as it details the parameters of her relationship with Z Budapest, the rationale of CAYA coven, P-Con itself, and the aftermath she experienced.

There definitely seems to be some distancing from Budapest’s hateful comments about transwomen in the comments section of my first blog response (which seem finally confirmed here as genuinely from her). Rabbit’s language around that, however, is a bit vague:

And into this, Z arrived, and she came swinging. While I honor Z’s many, many contributions to women’s culture and feminine spirituality, I cannot condone speech that is filled with hate, neither against me nor on my behalf. I would not and have not communicated my opinions in those terms. I respect Z’s right to hold whatever opinions, thoughts, and practices she chooses, and my expectation is that we are all given that freedom to do, think, speak, or feel as we choose. My reasons for creating specific sacred spaces are not merely rote from my Tradition; they are my own, and I believe each of us has the right to create our own sacred spaces as we wish.

While Rabbit says that she would not have used such hateful terms to share her opinion, she notably does NOT say that her opinion differs from Budapest’s own. And while all of us have the right to freely think and feel as we like, hateful speech against communities that already suffer violence and discrimination from the leader of another community that has also suffered is particularly disappointing. There seems to be more emphasis on religious freedom here than a recognition of a common enemy in those who would dictate and police gender norms.

Beyond this, there are a few things about this piece that caught my eye:

–The repeated use of the phrase “unbeknownst to us” to describe the events before, during, and after the P-Con ritual. It begins to sound like Rabbit believes they were set up, particularly in her comments that a protest about gendered space had already been planned. Sadly I don’t know enough about the event to confirm or deny that.

–The shying away from biological terms for female bodies in favor of the more amorphous term “yoni.” For example, “WE DO ASK THAT ALL PARTICIPANTS AT AMAZON RITUALS BE ABLE TO BE NAKED AND ALLOW THEIR YONIS TO BE PRESENT IN THE RITUAL SPACE.” My gender identity is relatively straightforward, and even I’m not sure I’d know how to “allow my yoni” to be present. What is this mysterious thing? A vagina? The spirit attached to one? Its innate power? Perhaps this is ignorance on my part, but I do find the reliance on this term to be purposefully vague here. It allows her to sidestep the pressing question of how “womanhood” is being defined.

–Stemming from the last statement, the requirement or importance of nudity for the rite in question seems rather unclear here as well. What does it mean that participants must “be able to be naked” while also saying, “We did not ask any woman to remove more clothing than she was comfortable with.” It seems like full nudity doesn’t matter. Does it? If so, why is the possibility important? The phrase “be able to be naked” begins to seem like it means “have what we would recognize as a woman’s body under those clothes.” If that’s what they mean, fine, but say it. Don’t dance around what you mean. This is what got them in trouble in the first place.

And that brings me to what I think is the most important point of response. Rabbit says this about writing the program description for the Rite:

When I was writing the proposal for PCon 2011 about the Rite of Lilith, I made a crucial error in not specifying that this was a nude ritual designed for women. Although I used the terms “Amazon” and “skyclad” in my description of the rite, I take full personal responsibility that these terms are not universally clear.

Many people reacting to this incident have downplayed it as an unfortunate misunderstanding caused by the omission of key details. However, Rabbit’s language here makes clear that this confusion was caused by an assumption about the meaning of the words she chose to use. In saying “Amazon” and “skyclad,” she mistook that these words are “not universally clear.” The assumption here is that these words specify ciswomen and their able-to-bleed bodies. By correcting herself and saying that she should have said “a nude ritual designed for women,” she almost makes it worse. It makes the same assumption as to who qualifies as “woman.” “Unbeknownst” to CAYA coven, a lot of people read themselves into that description who were not included in that definition. CAYA coven needs to recognize that their definition of that word is becoming less and less universal. And, if you think about it, isn’t fighting against a narrow definition of what makes one a “woman” what feminism is all about?

I have never disagreed with any group’s right to include or bar anyone from a ritual. However, if you want to do so, say so explicitly. Know that you do not hold sole rights of definition and identification surrounding certain terms. If you want a rite for only people capable of menstruating, say so. Don’t use vague, mysterious, pagan-y words as a cover.

Ironically, Rabbit mentions another P-Con ritual that barred anyone currently menstruating, saying that it was not protested despite what she sees as potential misogyny. However, comments from designers of that ritual in the comments section suggest that she’s gotten her facts wrong here (they’re worth a read to get a fuller story). This is doubly ironic, as most of her own post decries what she sees as misinformation about her own group’s ritual.

Finally, as I wrote in my initial blog response, groups need to be aware of the communities certain gods attract. Lilith calls to people in the Dianic tradition, transgender pagans, Satanists, magicians, witches, Jews, atheist radical feminists, and everyone in between. It bears repeating: in my years of experience as a priestess of Lilith, I know that those who transgress boundaries of gender to be beloved of her. What a shame to create a ritual at a large gathering that would exclude them. Despite my feelings, groups are certainly within their rights to hold exclusive rites for gods that fit their particular demographic. A large gathering where many of these people may be gathered seems to be a poor choice of venue.

Our gods and their communities are evolving. To assume that a skyclad Rite of Lilith for “Amazons” will automatically attract a narrowly defined set of people is naive and frankly outdated thinking. In many accounts, Amazons are known for slicing off a breast to better fit their war gear, an act that to some might make them transgender icons.

I was recently asked to make a brief introductory document about Lilith to be turned into a pamphlet for people new to the Lilith’s Tribe meetup in NYC. I happily complied, although it was certainly difficult to narrow Her down sufficiently for such a short document.

If some of this sounds familiar, I do lift some lines from my own book. (Sheepish grin)

So, if someone asks you who She is, feel free to direct them here!

Who—or what—is Lilith?

Goddess? Demon? First woman? Feminist icon? For centuries, Lilith has haunted the edges of civilization, appearing in the stories and writings of a variety of civilizations and fields of study. While Babylonian and Sumerian sources depict Her as a succubus or demoness, in Hebraic and Arabian folklore She more often appears as a hairy creature of the night. For modern devotees, she is a powerful teacher, first mother, and an icon of rebellion against oppression.

In Sumerian writings, Lilith or “Lillake” seems descended from a class of demons called “Lillu” or “Lili,” meaning “storm demon” or “ wind demon.” In Hebrew etymology, “Lilith’” stems from LYL, “layil” or night. More recently, astrologer Kelley Hunter has made the connection between Lilith’s name and the lily, which “grows out of dark, rank, decaying earth, and represents spiritual unfolding and the blossoming of the heart of wisdom.”

What is Lilith’s story?

Unlike other divine figures, Lilith has more than one story.

The earliest mention of a she-demon whose name is similar to that of Lilith is found in the Sumerian king list, which dates from ca. 2400 B.C.E. In the Gilgamesh story, Lilith appears as the foe of Inanna, taking residence in a tree the young goddess had hoped to use as a throne and marriage bed. In another Sumerian text, however, Inanna sends the beautiful and seductive “Lilitu” into the streets and fields to lead men astray. A nearly identical tale exists in a Babylonian text, which lists Lilith as a sacred prostitute of Ishtar—who corresponds to the Sumerian Inanna.

Somewhere between the eighth and tenth centuries, CE, Liltih appears in a work entitled The Alphabet of Ben Sira, in which the author attempts to account for the two creation stories in the Book of Genesis. The author of the text claimed that first passage referred to the creation of Adam’s first wife, Lilith, and the other referred to the creation of Eve. Adam and Lilith quarreled endlessly because Lilith refused to lie beneath Adam during intercourse. She refuses the traditional submissive role with Her husband, insisting instead on equality. Frustrated, Lilith pronounces the secret name of Yahweh, sprouts wings, and flies out of the Garden of Eden to the shores of the Red Sea. She takes up residence in a desert cave, taking demons as Her lovers and giving birth the world’s supply of demons.

According to The Alphabet, Lilith proclaims that she had been created to snatch the souls of infants, and she vowed that only if confronted with an amulet bearing the names of the three angels would she do no harm. In late Roman and early medieval Judaism, Lilith’s image frequently appears on magical bowls, countered by the written names of the three angels. Aramaic incantation texts in 600 C.E. Babylonia, those from a Jewish colony at Nippur, and those in Persia have all shared wards against Lilith.

In medieval and renaissance art, Lilith’s role in Christian folklore can also been seen. While in Jewish lore Lilith escapes the Garden, in Christian lore She returns in the guise of the serpent that tempts Eve. Several depictions of the temptation scenes contain an odd central image: a half-woman, half-serpent hanging in the Tree of Knowledge, beckoning to Eve.

Despite Lilith’s official status as a figure of evil, immorality, and destruction, the lingering fascination with Her across cultures seems rooted in more than just fear and revulsion. There is something seductive about Lilith for members of both sexes. She stands as the dark teacher. Lilith as the succubus serves as a scapegoat for men’s “nocturnal emissions” and sexual fantasies. In several folktales she tutors rogue rabbis “in the ways of black magic.” Even tales that seem to portray Her as a force of destruction offer alternative models of femininity and perhaps a critique of the patriarchal structures of Jewish culture.

Why is Lilith relevant today?

In the 21st century, She seems to be asserting Herself more adamantly than ever. Lilith’s refusal to lie beneath Adam, has made Her a modern feminist icon, evident with the branding of the music festival “Lilith Fair.” She has become a symbol of resistance to patriarchal authority, female independence, and freedom from oppression at any cost.

Neo-pagan groups and writers have claimed Lilith as an empowering force. With the rise of Dianic Traditions or Goddess Spirituality, Lilith became an emblem of the sacred feminine that had been rejected and slandered by patriarchal, monotheistic forces. More generally, Lilith has found Her way onto the roster of “dark” goddesses, a list which often includes figures like Hecate, Kali, Ereshkigal, the Morrigan, and Sekhmet. Satanists hail Lilith variously as the Bride of Lucifer, the Queen of Hell, the Mother of All Demons, and the Mother of Cain. Gleaning information from Kabbalist texts, some recognize Her as the bride of Samael, called the Dark Angel or Angel of Death. Some see her as a rising spirit of rebellion and independence here to guide our modern age.

What does Lilith have to teach us?

Lilith can be a powerful teacher—wise, patient, and generous with Her attention. She causes us to ask what we truly want rather than what we feel we should want—or what society tells us we should want.

One of Lilith’s most powerful symbol is the snake. Some things must be discarded for others to be gained. If we are not willing to let go of that which no longer serves us, we will remain paralyzed. We must undergo a process of death and rebirth to come into the full potentiality of our nascent selfhood. Lilith also gives us permission to own our anger—not to bully others but to make ourselves heard. Like anger, power can be a dirty word. Because of the way it has traditionally been used and abused, it may be hard to conceptualize power without envisioning power over someone else. Lilith will demand that you take back the reigns in your life.

Where can I read more about Lilith?

[This is by no means an exhaustive list - just a taste or place to start]

In Print

M. Kelley Hunter. Living Lilith: Four Dimensions of the Cosmic Feminine. Bournemouth, UK: The Wessex Astrologer Ltd, 2009.

Kless, Anya. Lilith: Queen of the Desert. New York: Knickerbocker Circus Press, 2010.

Koltuv, Barbara Black. The Book of Lilith. York Beach, ME: Nicolas- Hays, 1986.

Patai, Raphael. The Hebrew Goddess. (1967) Third Enlarged Edition. Detroit: Wayne
State University Press, 1990.

Schwartz, Howard. Lilith’s Cave: Jewish Tales of the Supernatural. New York: Oxford
University Press, 1988.

Online:

The Lilith Shrine: http://www.lilitu.com/lilith

The Lilith Institute: http://www.lilithinstitute.com

Lilith Magazine: http://www.lilith.org

The Lilith Library: http://www.lilithgallery.com/library/index.html

She was displeased for good reason. This was sloppy work, and the doubt creeping into my mind was not helping matters. I steeled myself as I went through the intricate forms again and again. Finally, she nodded and stopped me. I bowed deeply and thanked her.

We left the mat and headed toward the locker room of the dojang. It was mid-August of 2011, and I had been taking Hapkido for roughly six months. I had always assumed that I was ill suited for martial arts, even though I’d admired the dedication, skill, and strength of those that practice it. But They had decided that it would be good for me, so I gave it a try. And, after all, this was the year I’d vowed to embrace those things I thought I couldn’t do. (Little did I know at the time of that vow how many things would be added to that list)

Before long, I was in love. Classes challenged my body, mind, and spirit. Watching some of the senior students run through their forms literally brought tears to my eyes. Sabumnin (the master of the school) pushed students hard and had no tolerance for laziness or a lack of focus. He took the time to pull aside each new white belt and ask, “So, what’s your story?” (And he remembered that story – he mentioned parts of mine back to me months later.) With his big permanent marker, he carefully wrote each white belt’s name on the collar of his or her uniform (while we were wearing them). When I joined the full contact sparring class (again, because I was bad at it) and ordered my own hogu, he ceremonially laced me into it and wrote my name on that, too. Here was a community of teachers and fellow students who would demand from me things I didn’t even know I could give. Here was discipline, love, and joy.

I moved quickly through the curriculum, training three days a week, and in six months I’d worn four different belts. I had committed to test for my green belt at the end of August, but the unexpected two-hour session that evening had seriously shaken my confidence. With a piercing eye for precision and correct body flow, my favorite black belt had just pulled apart my first ten knife defense forms (this, of course, is why she is my favorite). As I peeled off my damp uniform, we began to speak more informally about my upcoming test.

“Next time,” she cautioned, “you need to learn less.”

I knew what she meant. I had learned those ten knife defense forms all at once in one class, then practiced them on and off for a few weeks, whenever I could find a willing sparring partner. I had learned them, I had memorized them, but I couldn’t execute them flawlessly. My hand placement on the attacker’s body was sloppy. Once I disabled my attacker and got him on the ground, I sometimes hesitated to do the right lock to get the knife. I frequently over-thought things rather than simply reacting. In short, I hadn’t embodied the techniques – I had merely learned them.

On the other end of the spectrum, I had my basic knife form cold. My favorite black belt had taught me in slow training sessions that repeated the same move again and again. She had broken the steps down so thoroughly that I understood the exact placement of each limb, each knife thrust, and each block. My body knew the form intimately, and my mind remained calm yet sharp during the execution. Both the knife defense forms and the basic knife form were required for the green belt test, and my current abilities with them made clear to me the virtues of “learning less.”

Each belt that I’ve earned has brought a lesson. As I moved from white to yellow, I realized I needed to trust my teachers. As I moved from high orange to green, I realized the difference between learning and training. I finally understood why the black belts always asked, “Do you have basic knife?” rather than “Have you learned” or “Do you know.” To have a skill or a lesson, to possess it as one’s own, one must embody it. To embody something, one must train. The skill must be done over and over, rather than merely be discussed or observed. It has to be swallowed and digested.

I also finally understood why the best black belts rarely spoke when asked a question—they used their bodies (or the body of the questioner) to demonstrate. As someone who makes their living off words and analysis, this was a difficult shift for me. I often got the “don’t talk, just watch” reply when I tried to verbally break down what I was supposed to be doing. In doing the action, the body understands. It is not enough to understand with the mind alone. Some things cannot be understood by talking through them – they simply must be done.

Through that lesson, I realized a habit of mine – I unconsciously distance myself from action through words, remaining a removed observer. When words are taken from me, I can no longer talk something through, “process it,” or use language to figure it out. And here’s where this essay finally connects explicitly to the realm of the spiritual.

When I heard “you need to learn less” from the black belt, it instantly brought me back to a scene three years earlier, in a muddy field two states away. I was in the midst of a very difficult ordeal, one I’ve referenced here before. On that day, I had faced physical hardships and humiliation, but the worst trial had been the mental strain – the interrogation. There is nothing harder for me than being prodded with questions (by a god I love) for which I have no answers. At that time, the loss of language seemed like a profound failure.

Between the acts, Lilith had loomed over me and offered to save me, to take me away from the trial.

“No,” I’d said, shaking in the cold. “I want to stay and learn.”

Nearby, I’d heard Loki snort derisively and mutter, “this is not about learning.”

I should have known that already. Early in the ordeal, Odin had told me what this day was about, even asked me “do you understand?” The minute I parroted His words back to Him, I knew I’d failed. In that case, having the right answer was not about knowing what to say – it was about knowing what action needed to be taken. At that point, my actions didn’t match my words. It would take me over two hours to discover that lesson.

And here I was learning it again.

Even more recently, I’d heard that lesson when I sat down with Lilith for a conversation. I had concerns about issues that were being raised in a new relationship – a relationship in which She has a large investment. After determining that they were indeed my issues (and not objections being raised by my other partners), I laid out a line of tarot cards to question how to proceed. How could I overcome these things, particularly as they seemed so embedded in old behavior patterns?

As I read the cards, She gave Her answer in Her typical fashion – destroying all false paths until only one course remained.

Don’t process this.
Don’t try to figure it out.
Don’t become trapped in the fallout.

Analysis has its place. It lead me through a PhD program at an Ivy League university. It ensures my success at my current job. It helps me unravel mysteries without and within. It has been a key to determine what’s happening when something feels wrong. But it also has its limits.

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing and fully engage. We need to embrace the aspects we fear most. Sometimes we must move forward even as we stumble and fall on the path.

-More on Samael (including more insights on His relationship to Lilith, His relationship to Choronzon, recent UPG, and what I learned from an ambush ordeal)

-On Learning vs. Training vs. Understanding (and why this distinction matters in spiritual seeking)

In the meantime, here are some things you should do:

Read this: At the blog at Temple of the Flea, Salena has posted an insightful and moving piece of writing about saying “Yes” to being a spouse – an act that sometimes happens after the marriage. I like that this post captures the real, difficult wrestling with understanding and communicating with a deity who is also your partner.

Watch this: at The House of Vines, Sannion has linked to this short music video depicting the throbbing, pulsing wonder that is Dionysus.

Help this: at Twilight and Fire, Elizabeth shares an appeal from Maetreum of Cybele, the only Pagan convent in America, in a legal battle with the Town of Catskill in Upstate New York.

Now, all of that is shifting. Post-Beltane, my wyrd shifted. After three years of letting Odin guide my education, Lilith has taken control of it.

To be honest, I hadn’t realized She had the sway to do that. I know that I was Hers first—a fact She likes to announce—but I thought that Odin had secured a permanent position in the driver’s seat. I don’t know if He implied this, or if myself and others just assumed this would be the case. I suspect the latter. Considering the other consorts and spouses I know, this just seems to go without saying.

I suspected that things were shifting, and another recent round of divination confirmed it. I am wrapping things up with my current teacher, completing a final module on Plant Work and Herbal Medicine that is mostly at the request of my Polish ancestors (they get their say, too). My new teacher has already appeared and is such a curiously good fit that I have to agree with the view of my diviner: it was a Set Up.  Lilith handpicked this person, someone who has dealings with both Lilith and Samael and has been pursuing his own path for over 20 years. I suspected something was up when he appeared the day after I did a ritual asking Samael to teach me. (Why do it yourself when you can send a human?) I’ve started a new curriculum already, one that takes me into alien territory.

These developments have solidly convinced me of something I’d been skirting around: I am a dual-tradition pagan. To put it in academic terms, I am not majoring in Odinic Studies and minoring in Lilith. I’m a double major. They hold equal importance in my life, and as such, I need to be educated by both.

Moreover, I am a dual-tradition spirit worker, meaning that I don’t just honor gods from radically different pantheons – I work for them. And that can feel like holding two worldviews in your head at once. I have two sets of associations, stories, and worlds, which can compete for recognition. For example, when I began working with Samael, my relationship with Hela began to dwindle. Both are figures of Death, but their lessons about Death are quite different, representing two very different cultural perspectives. Perhaps there might be more commonalities if both were European traditions, but they aren’t. The nature of the relationship between humans and nonhumans differs, the types of creatures that inhabit the worlds differ, and the relationship of these beings to time itself differs.

Even using the sole label “spirit worker” for myself is inaccurate. I am a spirit worker (or to use Raven Kaldera’s term, a shamanic practitioner) for the Norse and a priestess for the Mesopotamians. The more I work with both pantheons, the more I understand how pantheon-specific the nature of the work is. Lilith’s understanding of the nature and function of a priest/priestess is not the same as Odin’s. My method of communicating with Lilith and Samael differs significantly from how I communicate with Odin and Loki. You can feel the different stages of history and civilization, the different relationship to the land, the water, the void.

There are other challenges in working for multiple pantheons. Dual-trad can be a bit of a dirty word. Some may assume that you’re simply less committed. Some may resent the fact that your loyalties are split. The communities that honor these figures rarely overlap (although I have meet a few people who honor Odin and Lilith, and I know in certain magical orders they are both approached as initiators). Without a doubt, Lilith’s community is much more diverse and fragmented. Judging from the skills I’m being prompted to learn, I get a sense that a main goal of my work for Her will be gathering those fragments and building connections between them.

So this is where I am right now – going forward in the new course of study and practice Lilith has laid out for me. I don’t know how much of that I’ll be actually sharing, but I will certainly have more posts on Lilith and Samael here.

During all of this, I am still nurturing my relationship with Odin, Loki, and their own relations. They have their times set aside just for them. I am still actively doing work for them, particularly in serving their human communities. Like the managing of human and nonhuman partners I wrote about previously, this is just another aspect of my life where I will strive for balance.

I want to open the door to requests from readers – new or longterm – for topics you’d like to see covered. I will continue to write little essays as inspiration comes to me (and have a few in queue for that), but if there’s some topic, issue, or problem you’d want me to explore here, reply to this post or email me privately. If you’d like a refresher on my big topics of interest, check out the “Contacting Anya” tab at the top of the page. Of course, I am willing to stray out of these areas, but I may call in reinforcements for that.

On Being a Catalyst: Lokeans and the Trickster Role

You really should be reading her blog anyway, particularly if you’re seeking insights into Loki, devotional work, or monasticism, to name a few of her recurring topics.

You can also find information on her published devotional writing to Odin, Walking Toward Yggdrasil and The Whisperings of Woden, both listed under the “Current Publications” menu.