This blog has been quiet for a while, mainly because I’ve been contemplating two larger writing projects. Neither of them will be finished for a while, but if you’re curious at all, here’s what the writer part of myself is doing.

It has recently come to my attention that there’s some controversy over the authorship of a comment left on my blog after the PantheaCon 2011 incident, following the now infamous Lilith Rite. The author of the comment claimed to be  Z. Budapest, providing that name and a link to Budapest’s website. The original post and comment can be seen here.

As the webmaster of this website, I received the comment as it appears below. The IP address of the poster is visible under the website and email address provided.

I would usually not disclose this information, but a prominent figure’s reputation is at stake. I urge people to remember that there’s no way to link an individual directly to an IP address without a court order. One can only learn the approximate location of the computer used and the internet provider.

I will note that at no time have I been contacted by anyone (Budapest or otherwise) to take or deny ownership of the comment.

 

	Z Budapest zbudapest.com x zbudapest@gmail.com 75.36.183.63	Submitted on 2011/02/28 at 1:11 pm This struggle has been going since the Women’s Mysteries first appeared. These individuals selfishly never think about the following: if women allow men to be incorporated into Dianic Mysteries,What will women own on their own? Nothing! Again! Transies who attack us only care about themselves. We women need our own culture, our own resourcing, our own traditions. You can tell these are men, They don’t care if women loose the Only tradition reclaimed after much research and practice ,the Dianic Tradition. Men simply want in. its their will. How dare us women not let them in and give away the ONLY spiritual home we have! Men want to worship the Goddess? Why not put in the WORK and create your own trads. The order of ATTIS for example,(dormant since the 4rth century) used to be for trans gendered people, also the castrata, men who castrated themselves to be more like the Goddess. Why are we the ONLY tradition they want? Go Gardnerian!Go Druid! Go Ecclectic! Filled with women, and men. They would fit fine. But if you claim to be one of us, you have to have sometimes in your life a womb, and overies and MOON bleed and not die. Women are born not made by men on operating tables.

Last year I was asked to contribute to a new anthology, “Gender and Transgender in Modern Paganism.” It’s now available, and the best part is that you can download the book for free as a PDF or eBook file. I’ve been reading it on my iPhone all week as I commute.

My own essay, which I haven’t shared anywhere else, is called “Who is Lilith’s Tribe?” Other contributors include Janet Farrar, Gavin Bone, T. Thorn Coyle, Raven Kaldera, and CAYA Coven (parent organization of the group that ran the now infamous PantheaCon Lilith Rite).

Besides a few annoying editing mistakes, it’s a great collection from a variety of perspectives.

It’s been a while, longer than I realized until I noted the date on the last entry. November and December found me in a period of hibernation from online activity. But I am alive and well – physically, emotionally, spiritually – with some exciting changes afoot.

In February I posted an essay here about Samael. It gave a very basic overview of how he appears in a range of cultural, religious, and magical writings, as well as some of my own UPG. To my surprise, it became one of my most-read posts, and since then I’ve been contacted by a number of people who work with him. To me, this suggests a hunger for more information about him…and that, like Lilith, he’s been active lately.

Scanning The Wild Hunt today, I saw a link to a blog post by Yeshe Rabbit, the founder and high priestess of CAYA coven. In the essay, she gives her perspective and personal experiences of the controversial Lilith Rite at PantheaCon 2011, presented by the Amazon Priestess Tribe, a sub-group of CAYA. I first responded to this incident, from the perspective of a priestess of Lilith, here. A follow up post can be found here.

Coming eight months after the incident itself (although a statement had been issued earlier), Rabbit’s post is rather long, as it details the parameters of her relationship with Z Budapest, the rationale of CAYA coven, P-Con itself, and the aftermath she experienced.

So, this is not the update on Samael many of you are waiting for, and this will surely be old news to most of you. However, this was in response to a request.

I was recently asked to make a brief introductory document about Lilith to be turned into a pamphlet for people new to the Lilith’s Tribe meetup in NYC. I happily complied, although it was certainly difficult to narrow Her down sufficiently for such a short document.

If some of this sounds familiar, I do lift some lines from my own book. (Sheepish grin)

So, if someone asks you who She is, feel free to direct them here!

Our forty-five minute session had somehow stretched into two hours. My body ached and dripped with sweat. I struggled to keep focus and not give in to the fatigue, to the fuzzy mind. I wanted water, but it might as well been a thousand miles away. I wasn’t going anywhere until she gave me permission to leave.

She was displeased for good reason. This was sloppy work, and the doubt creeping into my mind was not helping matters. I steeled myself as I went through the intricate forms again and again. Finally, she nodded and stopped me. I bowed deeply and thanked her.

Upcoming Blogs:

-More on Samael (including more insights on His relationship to Lilith, His relationship to Choronzon, recent UPG, and what I learned from an ambush ordeal)

-On Learning vs. Training vs. Understanding (and why this distinction matters in spiritual seeking)

In the meantime, here are some things you should do:

Read this: At the blog at Temple of the Flea, Salena has posted an insightful and moving piece of writing about saying “Yes” to being a spouse – an act that sometimes happens after the marriage. I like that this post captures the real, difficult wrestling with understanding and communicating with a deity who is also your partner.

Watch this: at The House of Vines, Sannion has linked to this short music video depicting the throbbing, pulsing wonder that is Dionysus.

Help this: at Twilight and Fire, Elizabeth shares an appeal from Maetreum of Cybele, the only Pagan convent in America, in a legal battle with the Town of Catskill in Upstate New York.

For the past three years, I’ve been firmly entrenched in all things Norse – marriage to a Norse god, nurturing relationships with Norse deities, and a general Nine Worlds mentality. During this period, I did write Lilith: Queen of the Desert, maintained a strong, regular practice with Lilith (and eventually Samael), and had clients who fell under Her umbrella. My education, however, almost entirely concerned shamanic practices as derived from Norse writings and the writings/experiences of my community elders. My key teachers during this time have been either Heathens or Northern Tradition Pagans.

Now, all of that is shifting. Post-Beltane, my wyrd shifted. After three years of letting Odin guide my education, Lilith has taken control of it.